Round Table Discussion – Spanking Beginnings & Fantasies Come True

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I am so excited to be participating in a new feature over on the Spanking Romance Review Blog! Several of us have started an ongoing Round Table Discussion pertaining to hot button issues of the spanking community! Every two weeks we will discuss a new topic that is near and dear to the spanking community’s heart. After you read this blog head on over to SRR’s blog to see our debut post and find the links to the other participant’s responses!

This week’s discussion is led by yours truly! I’ve always been fascinated by how others discovered their interest in spanking & how they have explored it. So on that note here is this week’s discussion questions:

  1.  When did you first know you were interested in spanking, and the surrounding ideas that come with it?
  2. When did you finally cross over from fantasies to bringing it into real life? (Or has that yet to happen?)

I’ve been a spanko I think my entire life. From Ken spanking Barbie or Barbie spanking Barbie it’s always been there. I remember looking up spanking in the dictionary over and over and in every new dictionary I could find. I tried to incorporate spanking with a few of my high school boyfriends, but I really don’t think they thought I was being serious. I did have one spanking experience with my long time high school boyfriend. We were just joking around and it turned into so much more. I literally went weak in the knees when he pulled his belt out of its loop’s and made me bend over for a spanking. I had never been so turned on in my life. Sadly that relationship was over, but it left a burning desire in my mind (and fantasies!)

I met my husband a couple years later. We had a whirlwind romance and were married within only two months (with three kids between us.) There was a lot of playful spanking, but with so many kids under five we were just never really able to fully develop this kink. Throughout the years after we had a fight I would fantasize about him taking me over his knee and spanking me soundly then placing me in the corner. I didn’t tell him during those years about the desire because I was terrified about giving up that kind of control. We were also both pretty staunchly feminist, so I kept those fantasies to myself.

At about the five year mark I started re-awakening sexually. The spanking play began again and it was great! One day as I perused the web for spanking stories and videos I stumbled across a CDD web page. Let me tell you it resonated from the top of my head to the tip of my toes. It was a huge light bulb moment! I remembered seeing Bethany’s community (before she created Blushing Books.) They had a forum where couples practiced DD but it wasn’t clearly defined as DD is today. This CDD site was a few pages and it described to a T exactly what I wanted and needed! I could combine my sexual need for spanking with my goals for in marriage and our household. I was a hopeless slob, hormones got the best of me more times than not, and I wanted his dominance so very much. I have found that DD appeals to me because I like having a purpose for the spanking. I like adding it into daily life. It makes getting things done so much more appealing. I am ever the practical Capricorn!

It turned out I was too chicken to follow through with bringing DD up to him then. I tried, but backed down at the first look of incredulous. I didn’t even take the time to explain. It wasn’t for another four YEARS that I made my second (and final) attempt. I enjoyed the play, but I wanted the real thing. And I got it! Hubby reacted well to my second attempt. I explained way better this time! I even got my first discipline spanking that week. It’s funny that I forget what it was for now. I just remember how weird it was. It felt so scripted and like we were playing pretend. He had me bend over the bed, lower my panties, and he spanked me a little bit with his hand and then used the ping pong paddle about 10 times. He kept asking if he was hurting me and if I was okay. I remember coming away feeling like I hadn’t been punished at all. He was so scared that he was going to bruise me or hurt me for real. It took him a little bit of time to get past that, but let me tell you he has gotten past it!!

Over the years DD has taken different forms. In the beginning I really wanted that DD fantasy that I had always read about in books. As time went on we realized that didn’t really work for us. It works better when we pick our goals or spankable offences and if I ask him for a spanking when I feel guilty or when I need it. He has become so much more confident and dominant. And boy is it HOT!! He has dominance in the bedroom honed to a science. YUM YUM YUM! We are very adventurous and in DD and out of DD have ventured to many other aspects aside from spanking. I’m not sure how to explain why spanking works so well when I am a spanko, but they do. This whole dynamic works well. There is a difference between punishment spankings and maintenance, stress relief, or play spankings. Sometimes it’s just the tone of the whole thing. Whatever it is it works for us.

Fantasy has become reality in many ways. I know that I have many more fantasies to come true in the future as well! That’s why I keep reading those smoking hot spanking romances! So spanking romance authors keep on writing and fueling those fantasies!!

How did you first discover you were interested in spanking? Have you experienced that moment where fantasy becomes reality? I would LOVE to hear your experiences as well!

Visit the rest of our circle by clicking HERE.

The Lessons of Life and the Preciousness of Community

Many of you know that a couple of months ago my Mom had a stroke. To say it rocked my world is putting it mildly. My Mom is my confidant, my best friend, my biggest supporter & ally, and the person other than my husband & kids that is vital every day and every hour of my life. She has been my rock over the past year. It’s been a tough one. My Dad was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma, which is a type of blood cancer, a year ago. She was a prayer and healing warrior throughout. She kept me sane, nurtured me while I nurtured my Dad, and was the glue that kept our family strong during that time. The funny thing is that she is no longer married to my Dad. She rallied around me, my brother, and my step-mom like the angel she is. I am very fortunate for the relationship all of my parents have with each other.

Subsequently, my 16 year old son suffered a very severe concussion. This concussion had him unable to function, interact, go to school, or play his most beloved sports. It caused emotional and mental strife and chaos in our family. His personality changed as he tried so hard to forge ahead in healing. My Mom had all the right words. She was always there ready with advice, research, and tools to help him and us through.  And we did make it through. My Dad is successfully in remission and my son is back to himself and well on the road to recovery! You can see, though, how this stroke threw us (especially me) for the biggest loop of all.

We have learned so much through this though! We have learned that it is never good to go it alone. It is always best to lean on each other. In fact to thrive in life we must learn to do this more often. Sucking it up and going it alone just so that you don’t rock the boat is never the right thing to do. The emotional, mental, and physical consequences are just not worth it. This was my Mom’s lesson. She is so good at giving, but how has she been at receiving? Well, she is being given the lesson of her life in that. Our family, friends, and community have blown us away in their love and support.

What has really rocked our world is THIS community. I have never felt more supported in my life. I never expected THIS community to rally around us in the way that they did. I have received more words of encouragement and support than I ever imagined that I would. It kept me strong. A friend of mine within this community knew of the fundraising efforts we were undergoing in our community of family and friends and asked if she could please share. She just knew that so many of our friends would want to help. And boy was she right! I was floored. These people who had never met her & in a community where most of us do not even share our real names cared & gave over and beyond what we could ever imagine. I never in a million years expected that! I would never have asked for it. My Mom and I both cried (more like balled out eyes out) when we saw the outpouring of support.

My Mom has learned that she never has to go it alone. She is completely supported beyond her wildest imagination and so have I. I have found an inner strength that I never knew I had. The lessons of this year have been hard, but possibly some of the most valuable of my lifetime. I hope I have the chance to give to all of you in the way I have been given to. I am so lucky to belong to this incredible community. I hope we all remember that. Things will come along occasionally to rock the boat, but together we can pull through it all! Who would have thought that a shared interest in spanking would lead to all of this!

Oh and in another bright spot right in the middle of all of this (I was actually at the hospital with my Mom) I found out that I won a beautiful paddle in the Spankee Doodle Blog Hop from Dee Dee at CDD Taken in Hand Stories!! It made my Day! As strange as it is it gave me just that spark of having something to look forward to. It brought levity to an otherwise overwhelming situation. Here is a beautiful picture of the paddle that I won. Mine is exactly the same except with my own name on it in red. Thanks, Dee Dee! It’s funny what joy the little things give!

Danas paddle Front